Monthly Archives: June 2008

पन्ध्र असार

पन्ध्र असारको शुभकामना !!!


Really Gorgeous

This woman could be one of the beautiful women I’ve seen. She’s in Jamaican singer Sean Kingston‘s ‘Take You There’ video.

Is it a Mental Disorder?

I had a nightmare(it’s a reality, not nightmare only) just moments ago. Actually, I heard a low growling sound of a cat somewhere (I was sleeping but was little
bit aware of surroundings, too) and suddenly I felt as if I was being
suppressed/gagged by someone/thing. I felt as if someone is applying his
whole force to strangle me, to press my throat. I know, I
was crying loudly… in a very disgusting and also painful sound. I think no one heard me as the windows and door were closed and there was a
heavy rainfall outside and thundering, too. I tried my best to escape
myself from that suppression and kept fighting for some 15 seconds. I know my shriek was so much painful and fierce that if anyone had
heard it they would surely have stopped their breathing for some
seconds. I’m still sweating (and shivering too). Soon after that, I opened the computer and now writing.

Is this a mental disorder? I’ve been suffering it for some
years…nearly 6 years. The first of such incidents occurred some 6
years ago, when we were rejoicing my sister’s wedding ceremony. Later, I went through some medical tests and I even went to
Jhaakris/Shamans. But neither of them did help me recover, though they
boosted my confidence somewhat up. I know, I am really timid. I get easily scared
at night. And, when being alone, lots of thoughts appears in my
imagination. I often imagine a ghostly figure of something like
ghosts/apparitions standing right in front of me and staring at me to
devour me up. Why do I imagine such nuisances when being alone esp. in
night? I’ve tried my best to avoid all these disorders and have become
successful a bit too. Should I again start doing
medications? or do I need to visit a shaman regularly? People
say, you need to be more confident and powerful from your inside/heart to kill all these nuisances and fears.

Animal Rights

I’m going to be a vegan. Not mere vegetarian. Sounds weird. I am not sure even myself about it, though. But, making a verbal commitment only is a great step forward. I’ve decided and to have such a conviction is a first step towards my goal. Do I really become a vegan? Is it possible in the context where I’m existing? Do my family and other factors surrounding me let me be it? Like several others, I just hate merciless, ruthless slaughters of innocent animals, cruel treatment at zoos, poaching, using them at scientific and biological experiments etc. It must be stopped. Their rights of existence in free and peaceful manner should be guaranteed. I already have decided not to visit Zoos (to entertain). Animal sacrifice in the name of god is one of the most barbaric acts the human has been conducting. We can’t imagine, we scare even to think about it, animals are dismembered in the lab for biological/scientific tests. Their cries, their moans…can we describe here in words?  etc. etc… ,Human is Evil. And, I, too. Shame on me. Shame on all humankind.

F**king Life

Rainy season has just started. Days are cloudy, hazy and that’s why gloomy too. I really can’t cheer up in these days. A kind of gloom looms over me whenever I go through these hazes. Once again, I must say life sucks, but…. I’ve to haul it to the grave (ah no grave, crematorium for we Hindus and I don’t know when) by any means. We born here to die but only few of us know the meaning/reason of living a life. And I’m one of those geeks, who’s embarked on a voyage but the path ahead is full of haze, thorns, sloppy waves and who really doesn’t know how to cope with all these nuisances. I wonder, if I could be sucked up by these nuisances..

Deliverance From Worse

Yesterday morning, slipped badly on wet floor in bathroom and wounded myself. I wounded some of my toes. They’re still aching. But, the injury is not severe. I can go with it, anyway. It’s being healed now and I hope It’s going to be okay soon, within days. Thanks to all those medicines which are made to ease our life, to deliver mankind.


I quote one of my friends here : "I am not sad because Nepal lost King Gyanendra, but I am sad because Nepal lost "KING".  Now the fate of the country is in the hands of hooligans and the country is just going down the drain very fast."