Monthly Archives: November 2008

The Grandfather

I sometimes imagine how life would have been without grandfather at home. The ailing octogenarian has made a great impact in our lives especially mine. I really love him. He has been staying in our home since decades although he sometimes takes sojourn at uncles’. Now it seems, he’s too old to live any longer, think he could scarcely live for some months until this year ends. We know, we don’t want him die this soon but the situation sometimes compels people to think/behave differently than they were in previously. He lost his wife at 33. At such young age full of libido and potency, he managed to keep remain chaste after then and sublimate his energy into raising his children. This is the most admiring fact as to him. I came to know about it only at this Dashain when ”Thulo Buba” talked about it. He was here to receive Tika frm grandpa. I was really inspired……Dinesh dai really dislikes him cos of his oldness. My mom also gets irritated at times cos of tired of nurturing him. She has to clean her clothes, which use to be stained with spits, coughs, urine and sometimes excrement too. Despite this, She does it like her daily chores. Actually, My father is responsible to take care of grandfather not my mom, cos it is said, ”Buhaari” is not supposed to clean ”Sashuraa’s” spits, excrement, urines etc. My mom often resents about it with my father. But father….My father might be the busiest man in his area. He hardly have any leisure time at home, keeping himself busy for always in official and here-there works. My mom always talks with me in isolation that my father is always ignorant to her, even when she is ill and lying on bed. I say nothing, just become speechless. I think within myself, my beloved mom, I would become a great person, will earn more money and give you lots of pleasures, prosperity, Sukkha, Aananda etc. and whenever you became ill, I’ll take you to an expensive, sophisticated hospital where all kind of illnesses can be cured… I go emotional.

What my father is doing is also not a thing to be undermined. He’s doing for his family’s good. He’s been doing. Spending his energy, knowledge for his family, not only his family but also for his people of his area. Before Dinesh dai had a job, he was the sole bread-earner of our family. Now he is promoted too and earns handsome salary.

My mom often expresses his dissatisfaction over my dad’s ignorance to especially her. I explicitly understand it. Although my mom is illeterate, she could understand things quite widely and wisely. She is surely more liberal than dad. She often talks about politics too. And, I also keep informing her about current national and international news and other informations.


The Destiny

decides everything. People believe it. As
far as I know, sketching was my forte, and it still be, somewhat. An uncle
had suggested me to study fine arts, but how I came to join
engineering, I don’t know. It must be destiny which decides one’s fate.
Although I never played with brushes, I have kind of forte in making
sketches. I wanted something else but found something very different
than I thought. In one of our ancient myths, it is often described that
”Bhaawi, i.e. the destiny comes at child’s home in 6th day of his
birth to write his fate/future on his  forehead. That’s why people gather at night at child’s home with dancing, singing and
lighting the house till the morning in order to please ”Bhaawi or
Chhaithi Dewi” so that she could become pleased and write good on
child’s forehead. Though this tradition is no longer in its full
practice, still it has some importance among other bigger festivals.
This fact cannot be undermined pointing the gradual modernization (i.e. forsaking of old traditions) of
society. Destiny, what have been written on my forehead, I know not.
But for now, we move along the path which we find easy and prefer not
knowing what actually we are destined to do or have been written on our

While strolling along the dark alley in Bagar, I wondered about
what actually I’m for, what will be my fate. Could I be able to
”exploit” my energy and sublimate it into some good activities?
Dunno. And on the other side, I’ve already promised for 2 things, one
is not to caste any vote in any election if republic really goes in
practice, and the other is to be remain chaste(virgin) until I get
married. Promises are done/made to breach, its a saying. Its not easy
to be abide by the promises. But I’m sure I could do it.

I don’t believe in Theism, an agnostic; but still want to know what might have been written on my forehead.      

Midnight Thinkings

Aha! she added an entry about Miss Nepal contest which is now deferred thanks to the protest by Maoists. She was repeating her language was not good. Met her online
yesterday, like after an epoch. Meeting her online is always a great
experience than through calls and SMSs, perhaps meeting online has become our daily routine, esp. in our early days and later it became a kind of addiction. Yesterday, I was quite delirious because of excitement and I
feared, I might have missed some of important things I want to let her

Despite being a teenager, I know not what makes
her think, behave so maturely; she suggests me on various aspects and it’s the most revered opinion I have about her.

Long festive
vacation is over; same college, same friends. Isn’t it boring?. After spending  3 years already, I’ve become kind of apprehensive now,
about future and all. I’ll be searching for a good job, will have been
admitted in a university for master degree by the end of this month(of
next year). I will initiate an organization for animal
welfare etc, etc…

The PLO leader Yasser Arafat had once said, ”Better build a shack in the ground (realism) than a castle
in the air". Civil engineering is solely for construction/building. Since
the inception of engineering in the kingdom before decades and flow of
thousands of Nepali  students to abroad for engineering education, how
many of them have made shacks for poor?  Nepal needs skyscrapers/towers for Elites or Jhupadi (shacks) for the proletariat ? They
said skyscrapers/mansions represent development, prosperity and
accused me of being regressive!

मेरी आमा

मलाई मेरी आमा घरमा एकछिन नहुँदा पनि शुन्य लाग्छ । मैले यो कुरा उहाँलाई भनें पनि, उहाँ केही बोल्नु भएन, अलिकति गम्भीर जस्तो देखिनुभयो ।  बाबाको अनुपस्थिति केही हदसम्म सहनयोग्य होला, तर आमा बिनाको जीवन म कल्पना सम्म पनि गर्न सक्दिनँ ।

My Music List

      1. Dangerous                          Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon

      2. We made it                          Busta Rhymes feat. Linkin Park

      3. Violet Hill                            Coldplay

      4. Love in this club               Usher feat. Young Jeezy

      5. Feel the rush                       Sheggy feat. trix and fix