Days are like months. I wanna run faster than the time…Poor me, bereft and wretched. Kept curling up on the bed throughout the day. Dark room, chilling winter and crumbled heart; why she has filled up my mind; why she has mesmerized me…
I wish I were Davy Jones, who detaches his heart following a betrayal by his love to not experience the pain which was excruciating.
If I’m gonna lose my sanity soon? I’m indifferent. In pain and despair, you fear no one. You fear nothing.
I’ve not brushed tooth for weeks nor have taken bath. I open Yahoo Messenger. But there is nothing to do. MSN Messenger too, I used to meet and talk with her till 2/3 am of morning. I try to find her there…I also open email inbox, there I try my best to discern her… But alas! it has been obliterated. Everything is annihilated. I just can’t cry loudly…Hurriedly I grab mobile and flip through her SMSs– only some are left. I read them for number of times; I keep repeating, repeating, repeating…….Suddenly, I recall these lines: ‘’you look mentally disturbed, अँह, मनै परेन, चित्तै बुझेन । ज्याकेट मन परेन । मलाई अ….ग्लो चाहिन्थ्यो । सरी । अब फेरी काठमाडौं कहिल्यै नआउनुहोला…………….’’ I chuck mobile somewhere. I weep copious tears. *crying* :'((
But I love her. And love doesn’t end easily.