Monthly Archives: March 2009

Royal Rhetoric

Crown prince Paras speaks up! In an exclusive interview in Singapore’s second highest circulating newspaper: The New Paper. But disappointingly; he has come heavily on the then crown prince Dipendra blaming him solely for the royal carnage that took place at bloodiest night of June, 2001. He has denied any active involvement in the incident; much opposite to what the public perceive of the massacre: an alleged pre-planned intrigue with direct involvement of King Gyanendra‘s family laden with a ambition of leading the most powerful institution of the kingdom. People often charge King Gyanendra and crown prince Paras for the crime where as a small number of people believe the slaughter was accomplished by the then crown prince (Dipendra) himself. Imo, neither of these surmises is truthful. No one knows who actually had conducted the killings within the much-coveted landmark in Nepal. People were deprived of the must-know news of the palace and there might have kind of ill-activities bloomed over the time which eventually paved a way to almost ending of the centuries-long institution. What a tragedy! I don’t think the prince has spoken from bottom of his heart. But what he unveiled after nearly 7 years of the massacre has raised some of never-revealed concerns that could be taken in account for making those who are blindly biased about the incident stand on the facts.
Some believe, the empty rhetoric the prince has revealed is a response to the recent announcement of possible revival of the investigation of the carnage by PM Dahal. He told it when he was attending an inauguration ceremony of opening of the palace-turned-museum to public. I don’t think the prince needs to give clarification. Actually the revered institution of monarchy is always untouched and these impotent, corrupted and power-hungry cunning leaders can do nothing, they even can’t pluck a single hair of the institution. They,  paper tigers just ‘roar’ in speeches. THEY ARE IMPOTENT. Anyway, whatever the thing is; we people have already excused the wrongdoings happened in the history, not for this time only, but for several throughout the modern history of Nepal. So it will be better to leave the things behind to be judged by the history itself. History does justice to everyone, from the serfs to emperors (King Gyanendra was made abdicate!). Otherwise, the fresh prospect of confrontation in political circle could plunge the nation furthermore into more chaos and lawlessness because from GPK, MKN to Baburam Bhattarai, PM Dahal along with top personnel of bureaucracy, political parties and most importantly the Royal Nepalese Army are connected with the carnage directly or indirectly. (After the massacre, Bhattarai wrote in a national daily that his party had kind of ‘unpronounced’ contact and relation with the palace)
              (Crown Prince with Chinese President Hu-Jintao)
I am remain distressed as ever but could not stop myself from scrawling something in my dearest diary today when I went through the website of The New Paper where the exclusive interview of the crown prince was published. After all, I’m a royalist. I still say, only a harmonious co-operation of constitutional monarchy and multiparty democracy could lead Nepal into peace and prosperity; no others.


मृत्युको पर्खाई

अनिद्राले आँखा रातो भएर बिझाउँछ; शरीर एकदमै शिथिल र कमजोर हुन्छ; सुत्छु, तर अँह निदाउन सक्दिनँ दिउँसो-बेलुका जतिबेला मिल्छ, ओच्छ्यानमा पल्टेर निदाउन प्रयत्न गर्छु, तर अँह निन्द्रा आउँदैन घरमा आँखा पाक्यो कि के हो भन्दै छन् जब सुत्न ओच्छ्यानमा पल्टन्छु, त्यो रात अनि त्यसलाई सम्झन्छु अनि निद्रा..खोइ कता हराउँछ अँह मैले कहिल्यै बिर्सन सक्दिनँ ; आज 4 महिना भईसक्यो मेरो मुटु निकाल; मलाई बेहोस पार्नु पर्दैन; म सहन सक्छु तर यो विछोड दिनानुदिन असह्य हुँदैछ

भगवान्, मलाई मृत्यु देऊ म बाँच्न सक्दिनँ अब अरु

The Last Wish of My Life

The Last wish of my life: I want to meet her once

Bastard Me

Mutilate my heart, I needn’t anaesthesia. I could tolerate the evisceration. My virility is of no use. I’m ashamed for being a human. :'((

Free all those innocent animals from demonic laboratory tests and use me instead of them. I want to feel the agony they have been feeling for centuries.

I’m a bastard. I’m odious. I no longer can tolerate this agony, fate and fact of being ignored, humiliated, insulted, despised from all around. I’m now almost tired of this self-hatred. Hey, why you gave birth to me? Why? You enjoy watching me stricken with pain? You callous. I should have born a ghoul than this unpleasant human looks.


राजा आऊ, देश बचाऊ !!

त्यो पुष्पआतंक दाहालको खुट्टा काट् , र त्यसको टाउकोलाई बन्चरोले गिंड् न बत्ती छ, न पानी छ, न बजार खुल्छ, न गाडी नै कुद्छ     दिनदहाडै मान्छे मारिन्छन्, नियमकानुनको नामोनिशान छैन यो देश, देश होईन; राज्य भूगोल र मान्छेको भीडले मात्र बन्दैन एउटा राज्य कहलाइन आवश्यक अवयवहरु छैन, नेपालसँग यतिखेर   राजन् , हामी कहाँ छौं ?

साराका सारा मन्त्री, नेता र प्रशासकहरुलाई छप्काऊँ; रुवाण्डामा  हुतुहरुले क्लब,खुँडा र तरबारले 100 दिनमा 8,00,000 तुत्सीहरुको नरसँहार गरेझैं यिनिहरुको पनि सँहार गरौं  (हरे ! 1994 को त्यो दर्दनाक ग्रीष्म; मानव ईतिहासको कलंक, त्यो नरसंहार   सारा विश्वले टुलुटुलु हेरिरह्यो; ती लाखौं निरपराध तुत्सीहरुको नांगो नरसँहार विश्व आततायी हो लाछी सँयुक्त राष्ट्रसँघको विघटन गर् ) , आउनुस्

राजा आऊ, देश बचाऊ !!

हाम्रो राजा हाम्रो देश प्राणभन्दा प्यारो छ !

Divine Retribution(?)

I said hi.

And after minutes, she replies ‘‘hi’’

I asked how r ya

‘’I’m gr8′’

u took longer to reply, why ?

what r u doing?

‘’ya, worldlink aaucha ni laato’’

‘’ya, I’ve got a new prince from pokhara; another chance!’’

…and suddenly I woke up gasping, trembling.That was a dream I saw just moments ago, was talking in MSN Messenger with HER; lines are exact and verbatim. After the nightmare, was trembling. Turned on the computer and now writing here. Time is 5:10 am. I’m still shuddering. Why did I have to experience such nightmares? May be as a divine retribution for my wrongdoings, sins and hideousness…

I weep copiously within myself again.

Frugal Me

My old Nokia 1600 has got no balance for days. But, still I could receive calls and messages. I really don’t want to recharge it and moreover I’ve gone bankrupt. Don’t have a single penny. Some days ago, my bro had given me some Rs.15,00 to buy a jeans and I even went Mahendra Pool for it but then I realised myself as ‘clumsy’, ‘demented’, ‘boring’, ‘old-school’  and ‘bad-looking’ & I gave up, returned home instantly and handed back the sum to my bro untouched. On his interrogation, I replied I’ll see later.

There is actually no one outside my family members I dial numbers to. I’ve not given up, till today, calling HER although her mobile was blocked long ago soon after the calamity. May be I troubled her much. You guys may find it amusing, and some could deem it ridiculous too that I’m too loath to receive any calls. Often halt all receiving calls when they are still ringing no matter where they come from. I only want HER, not actually others’. Will I ever be able to have my mobile ringed (by her)? I pray for that…On 15th March, Dad called me; I was amazed. But I halted that call too. But later, I felt bad, my principle really can’t let me snub my most revered person, i.e. father (Parents are God) and few seconds later, I myself ringed his mobile (he was in office) and talked for minutes; and as a result, balance in my Nokia 1600 went zero.

Actually, I never got interested on mobile things; a plain set works for me. But, I’ve been running out of memory for text messages now. Only 72 messages could be stored in this prosaic set; most of SMSs stored in it are HER’s.

I  used Mero Mobile SIM card, for some months. Later, my father provided me a Nepal Telecom Pre-Paid SIM card.

Where is our Sony Cybershot 5.1 megapixel lost? I miss that camera. Actually, my bro is to be blamed for the missing. He said that he had given it to his friend for some days; but it never returned home again. It has already been months.