Anothe Entry Of My Humdrum Life

Did Nepal Telecom really revamps its wireless network (GSM) quality? Did it improve it? My primitive Nokia 1600 has been showing full network signal since the day before yesterday. Otherwise, it used to show only one or two line of signals when within the room/house and sometimes really not. I’m amazed. But our another CDMA Mobile set has no sign of improvements in its network signal. We often have to come outside (of house) to have access to the CDMA network. If the Telecom has really improved its GSM wireless network, then it’s great. After much of cries, queries, anger and wrath from the public; it seems, finally the most affluent governmental company has listened to them.
I got her email today in Hotmail after enduring weeks-long impatience and agonizing mental tension. I just could not read it at first, exhilarated and slightly trembled. When I finished reading it, I went even worse (She has denied my last wish). Stayed still in front of the computer. But, after repeating the email for at least 7 times, I managed somehow to calm myself; found somewhere in the email a ray of hope. Yes, I discerned something bright there. I’m still exhilarating.

Yesterday night, Light came earlier than expected; at 9:30 pm; not according to the usual load-shedding schedule. Whatever…I woke up; having been victim of insomnia for months after the calamity; the calamity which ruined my life further, my study got stuck in dismay and most importantly made me lose a woman I love the most. Went to the bathroom….then again sat in front of my old workstation. After few minutes, Windows 2000 starts; but Internet line was dead. What to do next? I’ve downloaded e-book version of ‘The Diary of Ellen RimbauerMy Life At Rose Red‘ some days ago, thinking if I could get some help from reading. I somehow managed to go through it. Some 43 pages are read out of those 268 till yet. It’s about a diary of a wife of a billionaire John Rimbauer, who(the woman) suffered within the walls of a haunted castle. Though, I’m yet to enter into the real thrill of the diary. I again felt, understanding English literature (the editor Joyce Reardon has slightly given the diary a literature taste) is just out of my capacity. However, I’m crawling with the leaves of the virtual diary.

I could not go beyond 5 pages (She has hypnotized me which always makes my heart go heavy, every moment; makes me almost cry). I close Adobe Reader 8. What to do next?

I open Jet Audio 7, my favourite media player and start listening to Akon‘s Freedom album; One of my favourite albums, artists, too. Akon’s ‘Right Now‘ video reads these lines: ”When you have everything? What could you possibly desire? The one you loved the most.”

I had everything; when she was with me. I was happy. I never lust after the meeting but tragically it turned out to be a disaster. It’s all because of me, my clumsiness and hideousness. I’m culprit, for I could not live up to her expectations, could not address her wants. I’m a culprit forever.

Bye Dear Diary, see you very soon. Good Morning! (It’s 12:48 am)


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