She asked, ‘What will you do If I get someone who loves me more than you do?’ I stayed speechless, lacked words for seconds, for I found it one of the most difficult questions I faced hitherto. Then, I quickly spoke my mind : ‘I only could regret for not loving you more.’She ended our convo after a while. But then I was left scratching my head, thinking more and more about the answer I gave to her. Went more tensed than ever before, several questions and as well as a torrent of worries started to haunt me : Did I reply her right? Is that the answer I ought to reply? What could she be thinking about it? etc etc…As to me, I spoke what I was told from my inside. It’s indeed straightforward and upfront and yeah intuitive. I didn’t claim, though I love her as best I can, I’m the only guy she could all the time be loved more by.
The following days, in one of our conversations, I came to say her once again that I love her. Actually, I didn’t want to repeat this again and again, but what happened that day that, I was made pronounce that line for at least two times. Later, I felt I shouldn’t have repeated it. I presume, She might have felt annoyed or embarrassed cos of it. Really? I’m really scared now and only could wish I was not to give her annoyances. It would have been better for me to avoid saying such, but how? Been so restive. I love her. It’s not hidden and I think it’s not necessary too to convince her repeatedly, for she was told for so many times already. But, I’m not overdoing…
I hope, She understands the circumstances under which I was made to react.
After a long time, almost after 7 months; I now reminisce those dark, coldest winter nights when I suffered a lot (I’m still suffering) stoically, I’ve now been provided some ‘precious’ chances to talk to her, my love.
People are being too inquisitive nowadays. They ask, what do you do? ‘Graduating in Civil Engineering’. Do you have girlfriend? ‘No, I don’t but I love a girl.’ They then stop.
‘Survival’ might be possible without her but not living a life; I already concluded, long ago.