A Hideous Man, Self Proclaimed ‘fairy’ and Broken Promises

Never thought she could ditch me like this. Really, never even assumed. Really didn’t. Still can’t believe I’ve been disliked to this extent. Dunno where she went. But, I’m betrayed. I find myself marooned on everlasting agony. May be it is right: Promises are made only to break later. She might think me hideous. I should have been a good looking guy. I would not have been disliked this much were I a hunky adonis. *cries*

People SUCK. They are contemptible. No one is trustworthy. They are to be IGNORED and SNUBBED. They are to be chopped off into pieces and let carnivores devour them. They are to be experimented in labs in place of innocent animals. F**k them all. *cries*

After nearly a year of the tragedy, disdain and hatred I hold for them have grown only strong.


This evening, Bhola Dai visited me. After doing nothing for more than 3 years after completing his M.Sc., he now runs a retailer utensils store and teaches in a local private school. He previously drew lots of criticism regarding his unemployment condition. We would also amaze at his not-doing-anything life in those years. He remained stuck to his family’s modest grocer’s for those years. But finally, now, he’s making a good progress along with his beautiful wife and an adorable boy. It seems, he now has his destiny in right.

He’s a strong proponent of UML and equally a staunch critic of Maoists. This time too, we got involved into a short political debate. Though, he is much senior than me, I always find his political knowledge and the way he discusses more nascent. It might seem weird but I oftentimes find many people of my age much ‘nascent’ and ‘inexperienced’ in political and other serious discussions and the use of language. May be that’s why, I seldom get attracted to people of my age group. They only know either of their concerned fields or holds very limited knowledge beyond it. And, I hate this.


Now, It’s 11:05 pm and there is torrential rain outside. I kind of love the sound. Have not slept well for months – often writhe on bed in distress. Her memories keep haunting, make me almost cry. It’s merely excruciating.


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