I Became So Numb

Been so restive, distracted, confused and anxious and feeling so dumb more these days. Her memories was getting worse as I’d not meet her for long time, thanks to her arrival last night that helped me calm a little. Her arrival kind of startled me but I found myself since then slightly unusual and I did reply her so tersely that I now feel bad. Her sudden intrusion kind of addled me though I actually was waiting for her as ever. I got so much excited and addled that I just could not act in expected way. I regret for being so terse and concise with her last night. I even didn’t (couldn’t) answer some of her queries. I’m feeling so bad now. Don’t know why the feeling I hold for her doesn’t let me act in usual way…

I know, my approaches are rather visceral. And it might be the cause I’ve been so much onto her. I feel and wonder, why the feelings is so strong??!!

She wished me Happy New Year first!!! Yesss, I was the first person she wished (on her own behalf) in the eve of English New Year 2010 and I feel so good and special. Unreasonable doubts I previously had upon her is slowly petering out.

I lay on her my best wishes for her peace, prosperity, good-health and bright future in the eve of English Happy New Year 2010.

Happy New Year, Ni !!!

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