:'((

*Crying*. Mutilate my heart someone please. Can’t carry this burden anymore. Just want to rid myself of this heart. Mutilate it and make me free of it, I would love it hacked into pieces , I would love when it finally stops beating, I would love when it bleeds into a pool so I would drink some out of it. I’m gonna create an unprecedented violence. I would love the gore and the grisly scene and would bathe in my own blood till I change into a demon. Yeah, I want to be a demon so I wouldn’t feel anything. Nothing/one would hurt me then. I want to be indifferent to any feelings which tramples on the heart, which torments the mind. I want to be empty..empty…empty…..there would left nothing in me, not even my own body. I hate this hideous looks, my blood is cussed and its not red but is abominably dark so people find me unpleasant, disgusting. I want to rid myself of this curse, I want to make myself rid of my own body, flesh, skeleton… Don’t wanna live with this unpleasant looks and torturing heart. Want to get a new life with new looks but with no heart. Or else, God, bring upon me a death, I would embrace it happily with no groan. Death is far better than this excruciating hell.

I want peace. God, give it to me. Make me empty from inside. I want peace, hey anyone give me, I want it. Someone give me peace so I could sleep well for some hours. Why I’m being stripped of all those things I die for?! I want peace, I’ve long been longing for a good sleep of mere some hours, free of fantastic phenomenon (dreams). God, give me a peace or else mutilate my heart. I can’t carry the burden of this anymore…I would only be a skeleton if you don’t exempt me from this curse and it’s worse than the death to live with just a frame of skeleton. I want peace..peace…peace….Hey anyone give me…*tears rolling down the cheeks* This pain is too much, God, free me from this pain…I plead…I want peace.

God, you give others a hope to live with in their life, but you only gave me pains, despair and sufferings. Why?! Why you only inflict me with never-ending trials and tribulations?! Why you enjoy seeing me writhing in pain?! You’re not God. Get off from here. You’re not the one who takes care of their creations. You only leave one of your creations suffered in agony, collapsing in tears and that poor wretch is me. It’s me, you mute God. Where are you?! Where you hiding?! Come out and face me and get ready for a showdown. You mute coward. You only gave me pain, not ever happiness. *almost crying* God, you’re fake. You never exist. I was just deluded. You liar. Fuck off from here. *still with tears* Someone give me peace. I want it. I can spend hundreds of thousands to buy it if it is found only in markets. But I need it. I need peace. I want to mutilate my heart, that gave me nothing other than myriad of pains. I want peace. Please, I can buy it if I’ve to buy.

God, I’m so broken. I’m so hurt. I’m so broken. You can’t help. You only enjoy moaning me in pain. You callous.

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