But I don’t care. I know, I just can’t give up, even in the midst of the worst, the creed and morality I’ve been taught, trained and expected to live in and with for a hedonistic life.
I’m not being racist or chauvinist here nor do I ever advocate any kind of discrimination, segregation or alienation regarding castes. It’s indeed morally wrong to champion such ideas. But, we also can’t disregard the ground of these long practiced aspects of human race. Racial and discrimination regarding castes have long been practiced not only in our Hinduism but also all over the world in other communities, religions. It’s actually in evolutionary way, old ideas and values are superseded by new ones. Even a successful revolution can never alter these rooted traditions within a day or two. It takes hundreds of years or even more to completely weed out the old ideas.
I’m from a Brahman family, the highest in Hinduism caste system. In the environment, where untouchablity is still rampant and Brahmins are still considered superior, would it be my unreasonable conceit and chauvinism if I boast my caste? I think not. In a time, when the movements for social, religious, cultural, political recognition and liberation for so called downtrodden, Dalits and ethnic communities are being sprouted and Brahmans and other ‘high ranking’ castes are often attacked (gravely criticized), I don’t think it would be my stupidity to boast and champion my caste. These so called lower castes and downtrodden were never subjected to Brahmans’ oppression, they rather themselves gave in to their supremacy on their own.
I mean, I believe in Brahman supremacy until so called lower castes and downtrodden are educated and capable to a point of responsibility and capability.
In our Brahman tradition, as in other few Hindu communities, premarital sex, alcohol and promiscuity are regarded as taboos and are never condoned. Only the conjugal sex is accepted. This is one of the fixed sets of strict rules of the creed of our Brahman society. But, who’s there to always follow the rules? These sets of rules are being abandoned in favour of more hedonistic living.
But this is not my case.
I know, I’m not following the ethics of our Brahman community wholly. I can’t, given the changed context. And also, I’m not leading any sort of ascetic, austere, spartan or monastic life. I’m a man trapped deep into the attraction of this materialistic world. How could I live such a severe spartan life? But if, those 3 rules i.e. no premarital sex, no booze, no promiscuity are to be taken as basis of judgment of one’s purity, I know I easily pass through it. I don’t say I’m the salt of the earth, but at least in these criteria, I can never be questioned.
I’m not into those taboos not because I’m fettered by the creed, but because I myself don’t condone them. My own conviction is far more precious to me than the fixed sets of rules imposed upon me, us.
They say, sex is a biological need and it can’t be ward off. But, not in my case. Yeah, sex has been a crucial factor both in social and individual’s life and their ideas and approaches. I’m chaste and already in my late 20s and people might wonder how I’ve been repressing my libidinous thirst till date. I know being chaste (virgin) is no longer a matter of purity, ‘pride’ and self-satisfaction. Most people lose their chastity in their early teen age. They may find me ludicrous for being chaste even in this adult stage. I can’t help but holding disregard to their hedonistic interpretation of life.
It’s not that I’m ”committed’ to being chaste, but it’s about the creed and conviction that I live with.
Sex is not that far, it’s only a few doors away if I’m to break apart the web of my convictions and set myself free into the world of debauchery. Beyond my creed, there is only bad i.e. debauchery, immorality etc.
Okay let’s keep my principles aside: I lived nearly half of my life without them (sex, booze, smoking, drugs, infidelity, promiscuity etc.) and I could live remaining life also without them!
Seemingly, those debauched and hedonistic lives might have sucked much of enjoyment out of their lives; but that’s for only a while. Spiritual satisfaction is far more impacting and everlasting than the material one. My controlled manner and behaviour gives me that spiritual pleasure that helps me live with sort of complacency.