I can’t believe it. It was so horrendous. It was the worst night I’ve ever been through. I know, I’m getting worse both physically and mentally too. This screwed up life brings me neither a death nor a sane living. I’m stuck in-between these two sides and it’s like being in netherworld of the hell and I’m barely spending moments.
Yesterday night, I was as always late to retire. I had just lain on the bed and had not even fallen asleep as I felt as though I was being strangled to death. Groaning, I tried in vain to escape the shackles but couldn’t even budge. I was well aware of the situation. I was groaning and also trying to escape the shackles but to no avail. Finally, I somehow freed myself quivering. But I felt no fear. I’ve been inured to this worst as it’s been happening on me at times (very rarely but after the apocalypse everything has gotten worse). Yeah, I felt no fear. I even wished to keep being strangled. I needed no light. I loved the perennial dark.
In a series of nightmares at that same night, grisly scenes shocked me and I experienced a cruelty from very near. Actually, I saw I was in America with my family (also were uncle and his family). And, suddenly near our apartment, violence erupts. Actually, they seemed to be that of Ninjas: wielding daggers, knives, swords and machetes. People were being decapitated. Daggers were being thrown at people. Road, trees, electric polls, walls and houses were stained with fresh blood. People were being hacked to death. They were being impaled with knives with blood spurting out. I, consumed by the horror and rooted to the spot, keep watching the bloodbath through a window. Finally, my numbness gets over and feeling no fear, I come out to face off the violence. Why would I be spared? I soon become a target of that machete-wielding mob. I was empty-handed. Later, feeling fear for life, I rush towards the top of an abandoned container. One of the hooligans comes approaching me. I was hapless and helpless. I couldn’t jump off the container nor could have dueled with the murderer. I was only a few seconds away to be killed at the hands of those blood suckers. But…….I suddenly woke out of the nightmare, gasping. Yes, gasping. I could not sleep for hours thereafter. Lit the light and tried flipping through some books.
The deadliest night was not yet over. It was contemplating another nightmare to inflict upon me. Morning was still hours away.
I slept again and this time I came to witness a gross cruelty over an innocent animal. Actually, it’s a bison, which is found only in America. I don’t know what the place was where the cruelty took place. Actually, a game bison was being pounded on it’s head by a bunch of people to feast on it as a large vat was being heated nearby. The animal keeps wailing. It’s such a painful sight. Thinking it’s dead, they then prepare a bonfire and put the bison on it. Fire was raging and people were circled around the bonfire chattering. I was watching mutely all that. I don’t know where I was and whether I was noticed. The fire quickly engulfs the bison and I feel sort of relief because the game animal was finally over the suffering. But……………..oh my, the bison moved! I can’t believe it. It moved and groaned from within the flames. Yes, it did. You believe? The animal was all red like embers because of being burnt and suddenly moves within the flames and wails. But, there’s no one to rescue it. No one. I so get overwhelmed. Yes, it was such an indescribable agonizing sight. I don’t know what those suckers did and whether the animal got perished in the flames but I then suddenly woke up.
This time, I was way more distressed. I’m still so consumed with the cruelty inflicted upon that poor critter. Though, it was just a dream, the experience it brought is real. I wish I were omnipotent almighty god (if ever is there any such thing) and gave that animal a new, happy life and exempted it from all the sufferings. I know not why I’ve been trailed by these hellishly painful dreams. It hurts way too much. I want to get over of it. I want to be heartless. I want to be callous. I want to not feel any empathy for anything and one else. It only disturbs me from inside.
That bison incident was the worst above all. Animals are always subjected to human torture and exploitation which must be stopped. Man, wake up! You’re supposed to live on your own and you’re capable too to fend for yourself. You really need not live upon other poor critters’ lives. You can’t make your life better while ruining others’. It’s unethical and against the principles of your own humanity. It’s inhumane. It’s shameless. Man, it’s time to be a real human. Live and let them live. That’s what the humanity is for.