Does She Love Me Too?

She was the first to wish me happy birthday this time, too.

Bhadra 11,
I born this day circa mid ’80s. With usual highs and lows in life, I’ve
come to celebrate Bhadra 11 once again. Life, many take it for granted
while few others feel owed to it. And, so on…

As I look back
while seesawing between hope and despair, I find my later years as being
miserable. But, I don’t think I could have lived them in better way.
With only little qualms for my deeds, I’m just living life for the sake
of living. My apparent complacency (with life) is nothing but a
compromise because I’ve no other way yet.

I hate visiting temples and worshiping gods. I know, I utter ‘Hey Ram (हे ! राम)
when being in despair, pain, not because he’s god but I revere Ram as a good
person, a great king, a moral figure. Actually, you can call me a
materialist, an atheist, now. Marxist ideas are ingrained in me since my
childhood, thanks to all those communist readings and the family
environment. It’s another part of my life that, in later years, I became
monarchist, too. Agnostic, I’m no longer.

Famous Bindhyawasini Temple is only a few hundreds yards away. But, I hardly visit there.

morning was different, though. After a long time, I paid a visit to
Pokhara’s most worshiped goddess this morning with my mother. Were it
not for my birthday occasion, I would not have made there!

Had a brief eat out with my bro, friends later in the afternoon and also exhausting motorcycle rides during an excursion. It was sort of a ‘treat’ I threw for them on my birthday. I’m tired out.

Does she love me, too, like I do her?

I would have died in elation!  Just going fantastic…


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